Olympic special

Every four years we get the pleasure of seeing minority sports on TV. And many of them are the rightful domain of the minority. But some are better than others. I recently had a fun online conversation on this topic with a friend:

XX: Would you prefer to be an Olympic champion High Jumper or Pole Vaulter?

Me: High jumper.

XX: Long Jumper or Triple Jumper?

Me: Long jumper. Triple jump is silly. Why triple rather than double or quadruple? At least long jump makes sense.

XX: Weightlifting or Wrestling?

Me: That's not as easy. Um, probably go the weightlifting. Weightlifting you are the clear champion - you lifted more than anyone else. Wrestling you only beat whoever you get drawn against, so there are 20 or 30 other blokes in the competition that you haven't beaten.

XX: Good logic. Shot Put, Hammer Throw or Javelin (with rationale)?

Me: Hammer is shithouse. What a crap sport. Shot put is a bit poohs too because it is one of those "throw it as far as you can, but you can only do it using a prescribed technique, even though other techniques would allow you to propel it further". Shithouse. So Javelin .

XX: Disagree with you on the hammer.

Me: Nobody asked for your opinion.

XX: I like the fact that it involves spinning around.

Me: That's true - it looks cool. And the bloopers are amazing.

XX: The bloopers are great, agreed. Ask me one now. I wanna play my own game.

Me: Would you rather win gold as part of a hockey team, or part of a track cycling team?

XX: I think cycling, as it is a more pure endeavour. As in, cycle the fastest and you will win. In hockey, you could technically play poorly and still manage to win.

Me: Hockey final - you can score a hat trick, play wonderfully well and lose. Or you have a terrible game, make several mistakes, are a liability, but win gold. Choose.

XX: Gold all the way baby. I am Australian, remember? [Based on current performance at 2012 Olympics, perhaps this should be "silver all the way baby". Ed.]

Me: Marathon or 200m?

XX: Ummm... obviously 200m doesn't have the glory of the 100m.

Me: I know, it was a carefully considered question in that respect.

XX: Yes. Hmm. I will say marathon for that moment that you run into the stadium.

Me: Good answer. Gymnastics - rings or pommel horse?

XX: Rings - less ball danger. Next.

Me: Ok. Diving or shooting?

XX: Diving. you don't normally get to show off your nipples in the shooting.

Me: Hmmm. I'm not sure I can accept that reasoning.

XX: Ok. Let me think of a genuine answer. Both are pretty pointless endeavours.

Me: True, but I guess being a good olympic shooter would also make you a good hunter/sniper? Whereas being a good diver would allow you to enter the water smoothly at pool parties.

XX: True, in Australian culture there would be more of a social advantage to being a good diver as opposed to a good shooter.

Me: Not in Far North Queensland

XX: OK, diving it is. I like the idea of being silent and alone with your thoughts whilst underwater. With perhaps only the muffled din of an adoring crowd.

Me: Haha. OK, last one... um... walking or ... um...

XX: I will choose the one that is not walking.

Me: I know, that's why I am trying hard to think of something equally crap. To make you think about it. I'm consulting the list.

XX: I'd take the walking over dressage. I'm not even giving a reason.

Me: Ha. No, my final question is... walking or... SYNCHRONISED SWIMMING?

XX: ooh.

Me: That could be you

XX: I'll choose walking. Either way i'm gonna look like a tool.

Me: Gotcha.